ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize