Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
