The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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