I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
