He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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