I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
