One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize