It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
