and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
