I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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