Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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