I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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