Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
