I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
