Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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