Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize