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Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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