even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
