Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
