Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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