dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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