Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
