There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
