And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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