I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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