her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
