I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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