I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
