Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
