Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
