dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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