k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
