My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
