Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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