"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
