Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
