it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
