I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
