Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
