I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
