My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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