I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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