I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
