Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
