ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
