Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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