if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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