In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
