1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
