It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
