someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
