The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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