You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
