accomplished twins. life is a go
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
