So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize