Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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