I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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