Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
